where it all began | JourneyHomeThailand

I was born in Hawaii to a 16 year old military brat in 1967. The crazy thing is, I didn't know that my mom, this young little teenager, was really the girl I called "sister" for the next 18 years! And that my dad was an amazingly talented and well loved Thai rock star! Yep....a freaking ROCK STAR! This crazy, messed up story is one I never thought I'd share publicly because I honestly didn't see the miracle in it, till now.

Hickam AFB in Hawaii where I was born the medical facility

Bangkok in 1960s

You see, my father and mother were teenage sweethearts in Bangkok, Thailand in the late 60's, when my grandfather and his family were stationed there in the Airforce. My biological mother Terri, along with her precocious older brother Chuck, snuck out once to see this cool Thai band on the "American Strip" that played American music and sang in english. Chuck had befriended my father before that and finally convinced her younger sister to come and listen to them play.

From what I've been told, they were sweet on each other from the start. It was all very innocent and young love from then on. They would end up spending quite a bit of time together both at my grandparents home on Soi Song Prang, and even visited my dad's home with his parents. Unfortunately my grandfather would be deployed to Hawaii, and Terri realized she had missed her period and indeed was pregnant with me. She met with my father and shared the happy, but bittersweet news. But because it wasn't possible for them to be together in Thailand, she told him they would be leaving soon. As heartbreaking as it was for them both, she had to do what her parents had required. Out of fear my mom decided to keep the pregnancy a secret from my grandparents as long as possible. I mean, she was a teenager with a military father...so...can you blame her?

Anyway she said her goodbyes, and left Aud, never to see him again.

Of course you guessed it, about 6 months later when there was no way to hide the truth, and believe me she tried many times to hide it, from staying in her room all the time in Hawaii, to shrugging it off as weight gain. Needless to say it came out, and the grandparents were less than enthusiastic. The details are vague at best, but mom sent my father a photo of her, big and pregnant with a love letter, explaining there would be no way to come back or have a family together. My father kept the letter and photo for years after hoping it would somehow lead him back to me.

So he was left with the simple knowledge that somewhere in the States was his child....(didn't even know if it was a boy or girl). For him, that's where the story stayed for 49 years. But for Terri and I, it was a WHOLE different story! My grandparents took their family, and newborn (I was born in Oahu AFB medical center) and went back to the states to prepare for my grandfather's retirement from military and eventual move into the food industry a little later at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (GO HEELS!)

AND SO began the secret of WHO I really was. My real mother had to endure the heartache of pretending to be my sister, along with her other siblings....who also now became my "sisters & brothers".

All I'd ever known was that I was an American girl (of Hawaiian decent), born into a world I thought was my adopted family. But that all changed when I turned 18 and discovered something much different than I could have ever imagined. A story that would change me forever, and not always so positive either. One day I received a call from Terri's husband suggesting I go see my mom as she has something very important to tell me. When I arrived to her home she had dozens of photos spread across the floor franticly looking for something. Then she found them. The 2 photos that would stun me, and the words that would set a new course for my life.

Terri handed me two photos of my father and said "this is your dad." I was speechless with confusion as I looked at this handsome Thai teen boy and his guitar and it was a reflection of me. For the first time I saw myself in someone else. She then told me that she was in love with him but since they were so young and her family was being stationed in Hawaii she knew it wouldn't work out. She said he was kind and talented, and that he was her first love, and she his.

I'm sure I said something to effect of, "Say what?!? Wait! YOU'RE MY MOTHER????" And the questions probably continued for hours as the last 18 years of my life were being revealed to me as false and misrepresented. Nothing I knew was true any longer. What or who could I trust? Those feelings of hurt continued for years to come.

It wasn't easy not being able to talk about this with Doris, my "mom" who was now my grandma, or with any once else for that matter in my family. Not till years had past. We just kept it unspoken and honestly I went through a period of crazy behavior for several years. (no need to share that! lol)

For years, I would keep the photos hidden, out of respect for my grandparents. In May 2003 for Mother’s Day, my husband, Elijah, framed the photos so the family could see them. For the first time it was like it was okay to tell the truth to the world what the other part of me really was.

WHEN THE INTERNET made it possible to “search” for people, Elijah began looking for his father-in-law.

One of the photos, with Aud strumming a guitar, has a handwritten message on the back — “I love you, Aud.”

We knew his name was "Aud Tybee", or at least we thought it was, but we had no idea how to spell the last name. For all of those years, Elijah never got a hit.

Didn't look like anyone else around! haha

That's me in elementary school.

Please don't misunderstand me, I am thankful for the people that raised me. The Robinson clan, regardless of how and why they chose to hide my secret, to misrepresent details and fact...did the best they could, and believed it was the right course of action.

My family never openly spoke of the secret or the "big elephant in this room" as my husband always referred to it! Those were different times and circumstances and the choices were probably made out of fear of ridicule or embarrassment. I know it wasn't easy for a little 16 year old girl to be forced to give up all her rights and responsibilities as my mother and assume the role of "sister". To parade around in front of friends and other family as the big sister to me, when inside her heart was breaking.

For my other 2 "brothers"(Chuck and Ronnie) and "sister" (Ann), whom I adored and spent many wonderful years, I know it was beyond odd and questionable the things they were called upon to say, believe and do on my behalf, all in the manner to keep my secret alive for as long as possible. My "parents"Gene and Doris (or should I say grandparents) were a tough but loving pair. They doted over me and gave me anything my heart desired. They loved on and cared for my children and I believe tried to make up for the lies they felt they had to perpetuate all those years. My grandparents, Chuck and Ann have all passed away, and I don't see Ronnie anymore. That's a whole other story!

Terri, my biological mom/sister :) has bravely endured the best she could all these years with this story. We've done fairly well to build a loving relationship as mother and daughter. It's not perfect but it's honest at least. Her family is dear to me and I love each of my half-siblings, and their children. I love my Robinson family and appreciate everything they have done for me to make sure I knew I was loved, even though deep down they all knew the secret. I spent many wonderful and blessed years with all of them and the memories will always hold a special place in my heart. It wasn't normal by any stretch...but it was my life and lived it the best any of us could, considering.

(left to right)

Ann(sister/aunt), Me, Terri(mom/sister)

left to right

Ann, Terri, Me, Jeanne(half-sis), Heather(niece/cousin)

bottom row:

Jessie(niece)

On the other side of family are the Chester's and what a bunch! lol They are my love, and my life and have been my rock and in many ways, my salvation. Especially my mother-in-law, Barbara, who is no longer with us. She was my best friend and gave me more than these feeble words will ever say. She was a saint! Enough said. :) Jerry and the entire Chester clan is a steady force in Elijah and my life and we are so blessed to have them!

For years I've carried a burden, a mystery, an aching in my heart to know. To know my father. To know my heritage. To know the truth. To know, frankly....who I am. I am a believer and so I know ultimately I am a child of God and that's really all that matters. But as a little girl wrapped in this older and wiser woman's body, I have longed for those answers and wanted desperately to find my daddy.

Well....this past Valentines Day 2017, I got my wish, my miracle!! My husband found him and he's alive! My thai father "Aud" Faroh Toigeebee is alive and my family and I are leaving Aug 4th 2017 to meet him and ALL my Thai family!

So strap in, hold tight, cause this story is just getting warmed up! Take a look at the journey that began on Valentines Day, Feb 13 2017. Stay tuned each day as we share every detail of this amazing princess story. Heck...it might even be a movie someday! :)